Ten Lessons I Have Learned In My Mid-Twenties That Have Changed My Outlook On Life – Part IV

I began writing this blog as just one single post however, after a week I had only managed to get about halfway through it. I realised that it was already becoming a ridiculously long blog so as a result, I decided that I would develop it into a ten-part series. I wanted to share some things I have learned over the last couple of years that have changed the way I think and feel about the world around me.

Lesson Four:

Working on your character is the best way to build your self-esteem

I guess you could say that this lesson directly relates to the previous two that I have discussed and is the answer to the questions that they both may pose.
As I have previously discussed, It is simply human nature to care about what others think of you, however it is still important that you don’t worry about this too much or too little either and the way to ensure this is to take proactive steps to build your self esteem.

People will tell you to stop caring about what others think in the hopes of building your self esteem but this thought track in turn will damage your self esteem because it can never entirely be done. Further to this you may be told that the key to not caring is confidence, but this is a very unspecific statement when fake confidence will never give you complete confidence.

I have learned that the best way to build your self esteem is by building your character because if you are doing everything you can to be sound of character then you can be confident that anyone worth worrying about will hold you in high regard despite any of your inevitable flaws. It is important to understand that when something is a part of your character, it is something you do all the time and not just when you think someone is watching.

Some things may be hard, for example if you don’t want people to think you are lazy but in actual fact, you are kind of lazy, then this is going to be something very hard to change. This must not deter you however because it is not impossible, we are creatures of habit and to work on your character includes removing certain habits and creating new ones.

As humans we are made imperfect and there is always something we can be doing to better ourselves. If you discover that you are worrying way too much or even too little about what others think about you or if you find that you may be starting to seem arrogant because your over-compensating with confidence, then it is never too late to fix this.

Find what it is that is subconsciously making you act this way and devise a plan to fix the situation, I promise you will begin to feel so much better and confidence will start to come naturally. Starting small is always the best way to start as change is such a hard thing to undertake and having an attainable goal will allow you to not get discouraged.

Once you have worked hard on your character and have essentially become the kind of person you admire, your self esteem will shine through, your confidence will be genuine and as result you will have a healthy level of care in regards to what others think.

“Be more concerned with your character than your reputation, because your character is what you really are, while your reputation is merely what others think you are.” – John R. Wooden

-Kels xo.

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