I began writing this blog as just one single post however, after a week I had only managed to get about halfway through it. I realised that it was already becoming a ridiculously long blog so as a result, I decided that I would develop it into a ten-part series. I wanted to share some things I have learned over the last couple of years that have changed the way I think and feel about the world around me.
There is no secret to finding happiness, you need to create it yourself.
Life is pretty damn hard at times and unfortunately, some people have it harder than others. What took me a long time to realise, is that your attitude towards life can make it much harder than it needs to be. When you react to every negative situation with more negativity, it begins to compound and as a result it will start to seem as if the whole world is against you.
When I was eighteen, just like every other eighteen-year-old I thought I was so mature and was convinced that no one could tell me anything. My main aim was to have as much fun as possible and I was certain that this would make me happy – it didn’t. When I was twenty-one, I was still exactly the same except for the fact that I had grown up a little more and had realised that I knew nothing when I was eighteen. I remember thinking that I was glad I had “finally grown up” not realising that I still had a long way to go before I could classify myself as a mature adult.
In these first few years of my “adult” life I also thought it was cool to act like some sort of white-trash ghetto girl. I spent all my free time hanging around the area that I grew up in and associating with all the wrong people. These people had also never grown up and were completely negative because of this so I began to think that anger, aggression and a negative attitude towards life were all completely fine. I had a terrible relationship with my family and was constantly surrounding myself with trouble and drama.
I didn’t seem to understand why other people would always want to ruin my happiness until I grew up a little more. I eventually started to realise that I was the only person standing in the way of my happiness and decided to start acting like a decent human being. I removed all the negative people from my life and for the first time made a point to ensure everything I did impacted on my life in a positive way. Although it was a hard lifestyle to break and it took me a while to start seeing results, my life has improved ten-fold over the last couple of years.
When faced with a negative situation, a positive attitude may not necessarily give you an outcome that is easy or even one that makes you instantly happy but it is way better than the alternative of making the situation even harder for yourself. Anger and frustration are completely viable emotions that should not be bottled up and dwelled upon, nor should they be released without control. These feelings need to be released in a pragmatic way rather than doing or saying something which results in the circumstances escalating.
It is obviously easier said than done however and even though I now know this fact, I still quite often have to make a conscious effort to channel my frustration in a positive and productive manner. Negative thoughts and actions can be strangely addictive and they only encourage more negativity to surround you, whilst opening yourself up to more positive thoughts can make it a whole lot easier to deal with tough situations.
In your early to mid-twenties, you change so quickly that you don’t even notice until you look back and realise that you have a completely different mindset from the previous year. I’m sure I will probably even look back on this year when I’m Thirty and wonder what I was thinking when I was Twenty-Five. I may not be exactly where I want to be but I am happy with where I am right now and I know that I will be happy in the future, as long as I remember that when you allow positivity into your life, happiness eventually follows.
“Holding on to anger is like drinking poison and expecting the other person to die.” – Anonymous